Ok..so i admit... I am not NATURALLY happy these days.
Sometimes faking smiles, ALWAYS pretending that nothing is wrong, sneaking a cry when no one is looking yet hiding it behind my 'happy face' when there are people around.
I can't seem to understand completely why I feel heart broken.
Last sunday at church for the Easter Service, Pastor Gauder mentioned
"your heart starts pounding so fast when you meet someone you really like and you feel like you can't breathe because you're heart is going like 1000km/hr"
And then he ends up calling my name infront of the whole church and asked me if that was true.
Honestly...

My heart sank.

And then at lunch.. he even asked me when was the last time I felt that and have I ever felt that before.. damn I was sure embarrissed because.. you wouldn't guess who was there when he asked. Yep..you know who..LOL. GG. PWNED.
Obviously..I lied.. "last time I felt that was 4 years ago..."
The honest truth: A few months ago...once upon a time.

I wish I could be like Tasie...
Strong, Super Brave, Doesn't take no ones shit...
I admire her so much because she's still standing strong after all that she went through and she doesn't let anyone take her down!
If I was in that position...definately would be shattered.

As Caroline says..I should be like Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl. hehe

What else breaks my heart?
Family. Even though not everyones family is perfect...mine feels like war..24/7

Anywhos,
I find it interesting that sometimes when people go to another place out of Sydney for ages, they sometimes come back a different person .. most of the time it's worst... like take joey for example.. super nice kid who went to thailand and came back 1 month later.. the biggest fagg tb everyone hates haha. no seriously.
And some.. well it isn't the same anymore.


The End.
Love, Amy
xoxo